Happiness is...

I just wanted to share a couple of happy moments with you:

We got a new dishwasher ( - the old one was leaking floods into the kitchen...)

And dishwashers come in big boxes and Liam was very happy to be allowed to sleep in the box for one night:

This weekend we had Nutella on bread for dessert. When Anouk woke up from her nap she found the empty jar on the table - it's amazing how much Nutella you can find in an empty jar and how happy that can make you:

This is my windowsill over the sink: rocks that Liam finds for me and the dandelions both Liam and Anouk pick for me on our walks:

I will try to share one happy thing a week all summer, maybe more :)

I've been busy...

I was just honestly shocked that my last entry here was in March! I was pretty sure that had been at the end of April...

Needless to say, things have been a bit hectic around here. I have my deadlines looming for my book and have been working like mad to get it done. It will get done and on time and I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's frantic at work, but it's fun and I really enjoy what I'm doing and have the feeling that I'm actually doing something that I'm good at and that I enjoy and that hopefully has a greater purpose (all those eager beaver students waiting for my book!).

To add a bit of diversity I've also been traveling to some conferences, which went well, but was stressful. I was glad to come home to my family. And I was glad to come back to my normal lighting in my bathroom - the bathroom lighting in hotel rooms is brutal! I saw lots (!) of grey hair, looked like I needed some expensive facial creams and a serious visit to the hairdresser to get highlights, grey coverage and a decent haircut. I admit: I really do need a decent haircut! June. June will be the month for the haircut, after the first of the two last deadlines. Phew. Back to normal lighting I'll hold off on the highlights - it must have just been the light in the hotel. I could I guess always consult my talented, but slightly abusive hairdresser for his opinion...

I notice that whenever my workload and stress level go up like this at work, I feel this urge to craft and make things at home. So I've been busy making things around here. At first I thought it's the process of manual labor that I enjoy, but that's not the case. Household work for

example like scrubbing the tub or the floor or ironing and folding laundry have no appeal to me when I come home tired from a full day. But the call of the sewing machine when the kids are in bed? Oh yes, that's much more fun and more satisfying. Mind you, I really appreciate how wonderful an organized and clean house is. And I have to say I have the best husband who is taking care of that at the moment. So, I have the luxury to actually make fun things in the evening. I've taken some pictures for you to enjoy:

I made this shirt a while ago but just took a picture of it tonight:

I absolutely love the fabric (Wonderland by Momo). The big risk with clothes for little kids, especially little Anouks is that they get torn while they play. That's a bit sad when you've spent the time making it and love the fabric, but at the same time it gives life to the clothes and it trains my mending skills - can you spot the mended tear right in the front?

Here she is wearing the blouse for her grandpa's birthday:

This one I made tonight (!). I had bought this Japanese fabric a while ago for another project, which I abandoned and then I found this pattern online and thought it would be fun to make tonight.

I like this close-up and noticed too late that it features the broken snap button. It's hard to gage the strength needed for attaching it without breaking it....

This is another Oliver and S pattern, the popover sun dress. A few days ago when it was a really warm day, Anouk was wearing it and it looked really beautiful and summery and happy.

It then went into the wash with new jeans... Anyways, a couple of days in Oxyclean and here it is sans the blue stains:

And last but not least, a little quilt, or at least the beginnings of one. This was really simple: two pre-cut charm pack, sewn together and voila:

(now I just need to quilt it...)

So, I've been busy and happy. It's a whirlwind at the moment, but I feel full of energy and confidence.

Good night everyone, my vodka lemon is empty and I am ready for bed.

Schlaf gut internet (as Anouk would say).

Heartstrings

I was wearing my heart pendant yesterday: it's an anatomical drawing of the heart. Liam was looking at it.

"So, this is what the heart looks like?"

"Yes."

"What are these tubes?"

"They connect the heart to the rest of the body. They're filled with blood that the heart pumps."

"So the heart is connected with everything in the body?!"

"Yes."

"What about the string between your heart and mine?"

Olympics

OK, so I'll be the last one on the entire internet to write about our experience during the Vancouver 2010 Games...It all started with the torch run - right down 4th Ave. It was great fun and it definitely started our Olympic excitement! The torch on this stretch was carried by none other than Sarah McLachlan. Of course, everyone was excited to see that but what I found even better was that the next torch bearer got just as many cheers - it really was all about the flame being carried through the city. The torch bearers were an important part in that, but they were definitely not the center of attention, all eyes were on the fire. And that fire caught on with everyone, I had never seen people in Vancouver cheering so happily and enthusiastically on the streets before. (More cheering was on the way of course during the Olympics...)

We didn't go to any events, the tickets were too expensive and I was in the middle of a lot of work... So we did our own celebrations: we watched the opening ceremony with friends:

Liam and Noah kept asking when they were going to start playing hockey....

The Olympic mascots were a huge hit with all kids in Vancouver, I think every kid in the city has at least one of those creatures, either as a stuffy or on a T-shirt, hat, mitten, sticker, sweater, backpack...

Anouk and Liam love their Quatchi (Liam) and Miga (Anouk):

And yes, we bought Liam a T-shirt that says "Canada" - just like everyone else in the city. The one must-have fashion accessory we missed out on were the red mittens with the maple leaf and the Olympic rings. I had seen them in December and didn't like them very much.... If only I had known...

And then the highlight of the two weeks: the gold metal hockey game. It was not just Canadian pride that was on the line, it was Canadian identity!

So, we bought pop (gasp!) for the kids, cider for the adults, monkey food (=junk food: pretzels and chips) and had a quick bread and salami lunch between the first and second period.

Liam loved the monkey food:

Anouk just liked hanging out, munching chips and pressing her nose against the TV screen:

Then Liam really got into the game:

And then finally this:

And this is how Liam helped Team Canada: Every time he saw the American goalie he held up his red sock with monsters on it. The American goalie would get distracted and scared and let the puck in the net. And Canada wins!

After the game we went out to walk down Broadway. Everyone was happy, smiling, wearing red and white, waving flags.

We came to an intersection with police cars and were wondering what was going on.... It was fantastic! An impromptu street hockey game and in order to keep everyone safe, the police just closed off the street. Apparently this was happening all over town, and in many cases the police joined in the game.

For me that shows that the best team won and over two weeks Canadian pride grew and Canadian identity was re-affirmed!

Go Canada!!

Birthday conversations

Liam: "Mom, it's your birthday today. You shouldn't just work, work, work. Take some time to relax. Sit down, enjoy your cake."

Liam when seeing my presents on the table this morning: "That's all? That's not a lot of presents!"

Liam: "How old are you today?"

me: "36"

Liam: "What?!! That old?? How come you don't have any white hair? You really should have white hair when you're that old!"

...it's been a lovely day and I did sit down and relaxed and enjoyed my wonderful homemade chocolate cake with fresh caramel sauce that Mark surprised me with this evening.

Life is good - with or without white hair!

20 years

It's been 20 years. As you look through the news sites and newspapers there are many reflections of this 20 year anniversary: 20 years ago the Wall came down in Berlin.

For me, this is a very special anniversary, the Wall plays a role and German history of the 20th century plays a role.

20 years ago I met my friend Marie. This weekend is our 20th anniversary.

20 years ago we moved back to Germany, I was a teenager in a new and relatively foreign country. A country I had spent summers in and my early childhood. A country I was getting to know as it was changing. All throughout the summer we watched the news reports of the Iron Curtain rusting, the famous images of the Hungarian border police taking wire cutters to the fence. East Germans in the West German embassy in Prague. The Foreign Minister on the balcony of the embassy telling them they would be allowed to travel to West Germany that day, the cheers, the tears. It brought shivers down my spine when I traveled to Prague years later and saw the German Embassy...

20 years ago I was the new kid in a new school. The French class was going to Paris on an exchange. I wasn't going to be going, since this had been organized the year before. Then someone got sick and I got a spot on the exchange at the last minute.

This exchange was part of the German-French friendship programme started after World War II. Adenauer and de Gaulle decided to start exchanging young people in a friendship programme so that these two nations who had been at war for too long would finally get to know each other, build friendships and never go to war against each other again.

The beginning of November is a delicate time in German and European history: November 11, 1918 is of course Armistice Day, the day a ceasefire was signed between the Allies and Germany in a railway car in the woods. A day that ended the most horrible bloodshed and war atrocity seen in Europe to that day. Whole stretches of land littered with the corpses of dead soldiers. November 9, 1938 was the Kristallnacht, the Night of Broken Glass when Nazi Germany showed its brutal face in a large-scale anti-Jewish pogrom. A year later the beginning of World War II which saw my own grandfather marching into France as a foot soldier in the German army.

So, there I was 20 years ago on my way to France, to make a friend so that none of this would ever happen again.

We all came into the school the exchange was with and the two teachers read names from their lists: one French student and one German student. I was the last one on the list, as was Marie, and we were matched.

I remember coming into Marie's house for the first time: the smell of her father's pipe, the books everywhere, the old furniture, and most of all the people. I immediately felt comfortable and at home. For the first dinner her mother had made a feast of French specialties, some to test the sensitivities of the German exchange student like fresh sea urchin. I loved the sea urchin - I had spent the previous summer in Sardenia and ate them fresh out of the ocean.

They showed me around Paris. We went to Place des Vosges - still one of my favourite places in Paris. We walked all over town, Musee d'Orsay, Marais, Rive Gauche, Notre Dame, Quartier Latin... This set the start of my love for this city, a city I would return to many times to visit my friends. And every visit would bring me back to Place des Vosges...

I have so many wonderful memories of Paris, and they are all linked to Marie: Driving through the city at night with big operatic or orchestral music coming out of the speakers, making Paris the stage of our very own story. Or years earlier, the two of us walking through the city and having hot chocolate in a cafe on the Place St. Michel.

Marie and I got along perfectly right away. We had the same love for novels, for music. and we somehow connected, in a way that is difficult to put into words. It's like we had - and still have - this implicit understanding of each other.

So there I was, 20 years ago in Paris and meanwhile in Berlin, the Wall came down. I remember sitting with Marie and her family in front of the TV and seeing people dancing on the Wall, Trabant cars driving across to West Berlin.

Marie's father opened a bottle of champagne and we toasted to freedom.

Marie and I spent every summer together throughout high school and well into university. We would go to the French Alps with Marie's family. Many beautiful days of hikes and long conversations at night. I remember one night when we brought our down duvets outside onto the Alpine meadow and watched for shooting stars.

We talked about love, a romantic love that sweeps you off your feet. We talked about our futures, our dreams. We did a lot of dreaming together in those summers. We watched each other as we fell in love, had our hearts broken, found love again... We made our career choices, went to university... We danced at each other's weddings, her children were my flower girls. And throughout this time we wrote each other letters and made time to see each other whenever we could.

Despite the fact the we are so far apart now, we are still incredibly close. When we see each other, we immediately connect, we are like family. Our families have found friendship as well: Last spring, before Anouk was born, we all got together in Weidingen: Marie and her husband and children, her parents, my parents, my sisters, my family. A beautiful big reunion of our two families. There we were all sharing this wonderful time together, speaking German, French, Italian and English to communicate.

Who would have thought that this would ever happen after World War II when the German-French friendship programme was started and who would have thought that this would happen when in a high school gym our names were called out and we were matched.

As a tribute to our friendship, I made my first big quilt for Marie. The pattern is called "Starry Night" and when I saw it I had to think of the summer night in the Alps when we were huddled in our duvets and watched the shooting stars. The colours remind me of Marie. I hope that it will got well into their new house. Every stitch, it seems, a memory of the last 20 years together.

Thank you Marie, for being my friend.

Autumn beauty

I think fall is one of my favourite seasons. We've had a really nice long and warm early autumn and now the rainy season has begun - and I like it. Last weekend it rained and then the sun came out. I went for a brief walk around the neighbourhood and took some pictures of the wonderful fall colours. Everything was so intense just after the rain. Really wonderful.

Here are some pictures of our neighbourhood trees in the fall:

The wet red leaves on the sidewalk were just wonderful - the pictures does the reality no justice...

Sun peaking through the leaves after the rain:

An our beautiful hortensias all dressed up in autumn purple:

I've been putting off updating this blog for a while. I wanted to write something meaningful and couldn't seem to find the quiet moment I thought I needed for this.

A couple of days after the last post one of the readers of this blog passed away. She was my father's aunt, well into her eighties and it all happened very suddenly and quickly. She didn't have a computer or the internet, so my mom printed the posts out for her and sent them to her by mail. She enjoyed reading the stories about our family. I was looking forward to visiting her with the kids this winter. I wanted her to meet the children she had been reading about.

I feel a sense of loss that we never had that opportunity. She had a picture of Liam on her bedside table. It really touched me to find out how much she cared about us. It's a delicate thing: the bonds of relationships in families and around the world. We feel confident that someone will be there, that we will share time together and then suddenly, a person dies and we are left with the memories of the past and the memories of our plans for the future.

All we have are the relationships with the people we love and we care about. It is the most precious thing - and one of the most fragile.